If an infant is screaming, should I let it scream in order to teach them that screaming or crying is not acceptable behavior?
When I had my daughter everyone and their uncle told me that sometimes I would need to just let her cry. The hospital gave me a DVD on purple crying that said many time, let them cry. Here are the differences as I saw/see them…..
Crying For Attention :
They are hungry, wet, or just bored. Your child does not have a way to communicate successfully yet. An infant cannot sit up from their Boppy and say “”Hey lady, get over here and feed me! Bring that blanket while your at it, I’m cold”! What they do know is – I cry and someone comes to help me. So they utilize that, and boy do they utilize that! So in other words, your child knows crying bring someone to help, when they need something they cry, therefore if they are crying they need something. Ignoring that is neglectful, and quite honestly, mean.
Ignoring your baby when they are crying is comparable to walking past a disabled person laying on the side walk with their hand raised asking for help up. Would you walk by, or help? Ignoring a child’s cry for help or attention is not helping anything. It is doing the complete opposite, and teaching them from an early age that no one cares about you. That is the message you are giving when you ignore your baby.
You have done everything humanly possible and yet they still cry. Again, a baby does not cry to hear themselves cry. If your child is persistently crying, something is probably wrong. A stomach ache, ear ache, or teething pain. Either way, your child is frustrated and letting you know! Sometimes all you can do is just hold them!
Parents wrap themselves up in the ability to quiet their child. Oh, I can’t make him stop I am such a bad Mom. What am I doing wrong? You try and try unsuccessfully to comfort them to no avail, and frustration sets in. I am not saying that it is not okay to place them safely in their crib, catch your breath, and go back in. It absolutly is okay to do that! It is not okay to let your child lay their two hours howling in frustration! Again, sending a terrible message!
Rock them, sign to them, and just let them know “”Hey I am here and we will get through this together”! Who cares if they are crying, if you cannot handle the sound of an infant crying, you shouldn’t have kids!
A crying baby can be an emotional drain on an already tired mother, so ask for help. It is okay to ask for help from someone close to you! They even have volunteers that will cuddle a baby in the hospital so a mommy can get rest! Reach out to support groups and other moms! Enroll in a day care for an hour a day to catch a nap! There are many ways around letting your infant cry!
Infants do not posses the skills necessary to understand a “lesson”. They don’t get that your ignoring them “”for their own good”. If your child is 3 and throwing tantrums, yep ignore it! LoL! Not an infant, please don’t ignore an infant!